you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
