how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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