nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
