I cockslap morals
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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