it was like his penis was on wheels.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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