using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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