was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
