Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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