Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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