i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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