Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
