I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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