Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
