She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
