your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I could fuck to npr.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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