just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
