exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
