no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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