I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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