I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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