She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
