when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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