he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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