We won't sleep together?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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