Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
