Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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