so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
