Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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