Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
