my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
