no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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