??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
