I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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