Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
