It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
