I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This toilet bowl is my home.
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