i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
