So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
