yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
