I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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