Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
