Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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