oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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