it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I fill condoms, not promises.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
