i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
