You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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