we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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