You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
