I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
