I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
