Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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