so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
